Inspiration and motivation fall into my life at the most unexpected times while imperfection and doubt exist in more prevelance than I like to admit. My attitude towards my courses lately have driven me into a rut. In my food service management class, I was learning about how to empower future employers yet the structure of my classes did not fuel me with inspiration and self worth. Nothing was practical nor was it intellectually stimulating. I began questioning, "what am I seriously going to take from these classes and how can I continue without feeling like I am drowning in dullness. In the midst of my dissatisfaction, I picked up a book. I have always been a bookworm but something about being force fed academic articles and being on a strict timeline for reading literature stopped me from pleasure reading. In my haze, my eyes fell onto the shelf in my room that had a growing pile of books that I wanted to read, one of which was a bright orange book called "Cold Tangerines." My sister let me borrow this book. I grew up reading her hand-me-down books and always enjoyed them, so I decided it was about time I just let myself indulge. From the start, the book uplifted me from my haze and I was able to connect with the author on so many levels. It is a story that acknowledges the struggles and imperfections in our day to day lives, but it doesn't stop there. It reflects on the growth and development of relationships. As I make my way through the chapters of the book, I am reminded that it is okay that today seems like I am stuck in a rut because we live in a dynamic world that will push and pull us in many different directions. Right now I may feel dazed and uncertain but what I learn and feel in these moments will transform my experience tomorrow. So I greet these dazed days with a hello and a breathe of relief, for I know every moment is passing and amidst the dullness is a foundation of beauty and celebration.
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October 2015
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