Upon arrival to Esalen, I was greeted by a group of smiling faces on the lawn. One of the smiles was familiar. A friend from college had just completed her month long work scholar program at Esalen. My month was just beginning as hers was coming to a close. She looked at me and said, "get ready for a life changing experience."
Before arriving, I read the Integral Leadership Program workbook. The topics of focus included emotional intelligence, compassion, self-expression, ecological awareness, conflict resolution and cross cultural communication. I was looking forward to see how these topics would show up for me as I went through my month as a work scholar at Esalen. Compassion, as defined by the ILP guide, is to relate deeply to the experience of self and others with curiosity and kindness. This beautiful definition of compassion echoed in my mind through out the whole month. I spent 32 hours every week working in the kitchen. During every shift there would be a pause in the work day to do a check in. We would remove our aprons, grabs some tea, and sit outside as a group. We spent 15-20 minutes just checking in with one another. It was a wonderful practice for me to learn how to hold space for others and accept space for myself. I would evaluate how I was feeling and acting without judgment so that I could share my experience with others. In return, my co-workers would offer me their experiences and I would receive them with compassion. A unique concept I spent time reflecting on was the contrast between self-esteem and self-compassion. The workshop I was attending for the month of August was called "Speak to Inspire." Public speaking comes to a challenge for may people. This program brought to the surface a lot of insecurities for many work scholars, including myself. With every challenge the workshop provided, I made sure to treat myself with compassion rather then dwell on the idea of having low self-esteem. It was really rewarding to feel more compassionate towards myself. It elevated my performance and helped me be more accepting of some of the underlying insecurities I was experiencing. Self-expression, as defined by the ILP guide, is to express oneself authentically and mindfully through verbal and nonverbal communication. When faced with the question prior to my month at Esalen, "how would you describe your relationship with your creative process?" I would say the relationship was one-sided. The creative juice would bubble up in me and I would suppress it. Esalen allowed me the time to explore what it feels like to let the bubbles go! I danced, I sang, I wrote. I enjoyed sharing my expression with others. With every exchange, a deeper appreciation for one another's uniqueness was formed. Without the constraint of language, friendships bloomed and a raw authenticity unleashed amongst the group. I have taken many valuable lessons from my time at Esalen. An infinitely curious mind, a playful spirit, and an unchained being has been released back into the world outside Esalen.
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